Conversations about Raising Girls

I have a big, beating heart for kids.

Though I wasn’t the type of young person who constantly wanted to cuddle babies, I’ve found fulfillment through child-helper activities over the years: babysitter, day camp counselor, mentor to an at-risk ten-year-old girl, coach and volunteer in the elementary and junior high schools.

So it doesn’t surprise me at all that I willingly became a stepparent, helping raise a girl and a boy whose mother had died.  That is, I don’t look back, even fourteen years later and think, “What in the Sam Hill was I doing?”

I know why I did it.  I like to connect with kids. Later I moved into the official ranks of dyed-in-the-wool parent of an energetic little girl who is fast becoming a young lady.

Although I’m fascinated by boys and the men they become, I don’t intuitively relate to them the way I do to my own gender.  When I carried my baby, I didn’t think I had a preference for its sex.  But when my husband cried, “It’s an Amy!” I felt relieved.  It was a girl.  Possibly a kindred spirit.  Undoubtedly an emotional challenge for the future.

I recall the shock I felt about ten years ago upon reading the book Reviving Ophelia  by Mary Pipher. Have you read it?  The author reveals stories from her psychological case work with teenage girls.  She comments on the social and cultural forces shaping our girls and poisoning their self esteem.

I read with a parental perspective (and therefore something just short of horror) about self-mutilation, depression, addiction, and other hateful behaviors girls fall into.  If the issues are any different in the millennium, I believe they’re probably more pronounced.  I’ve been reading about a younger and younger onset and intensity of these forces.

I feel it’s important to have all kinds of conversations about raising children – from the deep issues to milder challenges that could build into more complicated territory. I’ve chosen to focus on girls.  Keep an eye on my blogroll for a few sites that target raising boys.

I’ll be blogging at least three days per week (Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday).  On Wednesdays henceforth I’ll focus on stepparenting issues. The other posts will prompt more general parenting discussions.  I’ll cover a range of ages and stages, from preschool to college.

Please give me some conversation starters.  What would you like to talk about with regard to raising your daughter or stepdaughter?  Find the “register” link to log in your comments.

Mama J (Diane Fromme) is a writer, parent, and stepparent located in Northern Colorado.  For more information on her stepparenting book, go to www.dianefromme.com.